You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
