life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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