i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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