i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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