eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
