Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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