oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
