ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
