Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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