Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize