It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
