I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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