The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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