nut hugger
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
