I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
