Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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