just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
