I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
