so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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