so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
