I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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