I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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