I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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