Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Randomize
