It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
