I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
