omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
