I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
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Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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