I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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