I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
