Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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