It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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