Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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