What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
