i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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