you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
