Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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