so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
