bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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