Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
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I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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