So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
