just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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