Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
did you just send me my own nude
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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