I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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