like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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