Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
