I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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