On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize