Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Enjoy the penises
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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