you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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