So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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