? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
