I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
