Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
