I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
