There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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