i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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