Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
