he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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