It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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