ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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