Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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