did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
