that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
