At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize